In running this morning, I had some pretty powerful thoughts that I wanted to send to my daughter, but wanted all daughters to hear this… if you needed to hear this from your mom and never did…. please feel free to use this for your own benefit….
From my diary: June 27, 2012
“See the time? I just came back from my shedding for my wedding Run:-).It’s 6:00am
While running I had these thoughts I wanted to share with you. As you know my wedding day is coming up soon… and one of the amazing things about marrying my sweet Jim is that I am doing this with eyes wide open – finally knowing to be true to myself without being defensive to others.
I am experiencing and learning to hold my own sense of self in gentleness towards others and holding that same preciousness for myself as well. My first marriage was age 24, and I was just out of the rough world and life I had lived and I was defenseless- I had SO much to learn and so much to heal… it does take time.. for me it did.
All my worldly defenses were removed and when I lost my father, and went searching for faith, overflowing love filled me and I was free – but so very unsure – I didn’t know how to protect myself in that vulnerability and was naive to think I wouldn’t need to.
However had I have known to be as true to me as I have been with me now and in my relationship with Jim, I would have cared for myself better and learned to address what was primary important to me while preserving the value of those around me. If I knew then what I know now, perhaps your dad and my life outcome would have been different.
I say that to tell you that our mistakes are not your issue. Our weakness are just that – ours and were a part of our lives and struggle. Part of our mistakes and weakness have become your struggles now to shed!
I say to you ” throw off those weaknesses that have no part of your life and let the weaknesses and our mistakes become your greatest life strengths “!
You will have your own lessons that others and life will offer you from those your life touches and those who touch yours.
Be free my precious daughter – be free to learn what life has for you and walk in the strength and knowledge that all can be overcome once we understand ourselves and believe in our preciousness.
I set you free my beauty, to live your life to the fullest. To not care for things that are not your burden. Go my daughter and see what life has for you. I love you deeply and truly, Mom.