Are you willing?

Here’s to your full healing. Be courageous ! It’s time ❤️🙏 Would you be willing? 💕🙏

Healing broken relationships – right now we have time to process in a way we might never have had before.

For most of us, having a broken relationship might mean we are having a difficult time knowing how to fix it – or find a way back, OR even worse, unwilling to find a way back.

But until it is repaired, it’s going to keep being in your way and will impede you from fully moving forward.

It’s unfinished business.

Like a broken arm or a broken leg that’s unhealed, a broken heart that is hurt because of a relationship, and remains broken in your mind and heart, is unhealthy and will impair your ability to live your fullest life.

In fact, an unhealed heart can increase your anxiety, increase uncertainty, increase heartache and impair you emotionally, physically and spiritually in a way that nothing else can- Because singularly, that broken relationship is internal… It’s broken inside of you- your inability to trust and think differently is coming from your insides. I promise you that underlying hurt invades every single way you approach people… It can’t help it -it’s spills out… You owe yourself more than this…❤️

We might be stuck, unable to see our way through and just afraid and unwilling to step into something that’s painful… But what happens if we would just be willing to consider another way? With humility and a simple adjustment of thought, we can make all the difference into our own world to opening that door…

What happens if instead of believing the person that hurt you is bad, why not take a different approach? Why don’t you shift your thoughts to a different view by considering, maybe the person, like you, isn’t all bad and has good in them too? What happens if you decide to see them as good and focus on that? What we focus on grows either good or bad. Are you the one who has made them in your mind, so bad that now you can’t reach out, or are too far gone? It’s never too late. Love can heal anything, if you let it. What story have you told yourself? What if you become curious and vulnerable and soft hearted enough to want to know the others story, or perspective ALONG with yours? Have you become the sole authority and knower of another persons heart? That’s a pretty heavy place to have put yourself… it’s too big of a burden and frankly isn’t even realistic, or sustainable.

Our inability to see someone as a complete human (good and not so good) often blocks our ability to find our way through to reconciliation and healing… If you focused on the wrong that someone has done and you are stuck there, why don’t you do yourself a favor and look at them differently? Why not allow some other perspective into your story to create a more balanced and holistic thinking?

Without all perspectives, you are flying with one wing my friend… and you may not see that you are spinning around in the same circle that started when you decided to cut someone out of your life. I promise its what you have done to you that is at stake here.

As far as the person you have shut out, well, they have gifts, and strengths that God has placed within them that you are no longer benefiting from. That’s just sad.

It doesn’t mean that what happened to you or how you experienced things wasn’t real it- just means it’s not the whole story and that’s why you’re stuck…

Open your heart. Consider they have good in them too and start there—- just like you want others to see past your human mistakes and see you with good as well. 🙏💕

You owe yourself the opportunity to be completely whole – without any unhealed areas inside of you… If you won’t do it for you, do it for those around you that you love… Because truthfully, no matter what you think, they are not able to experience all of you…because all of you isn’t fully open. 🙏💕

… Here’s a little episode from the movie The Shack filmed right here in British Columbia that I believe will help you see what I mean…. – Here’s to your full healing ! 🙏💕https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5caGyE8BoXs

Cold, Wind, Eyes, Smell, Wine, Money, Blood, and Big Feet

 

March 17, 2020- today being St. Patrick’s day it was also our parents wedding day in Britain way back in 1944~

But I need to tell you all about this!

This is Titled :

Cold, Wind, Eyes, Smell, Wine, Money, Blood, and Big Feet

Look for clues below…

Yup it’s all true… it happened.. all of it… no exaggerating…

Picture this… its Friday March 13, 2020… we had a sense to cancel our 6 month plan of being in California for spring break as we really recognized something is going on that we can’t control.  So we changed  plans to come to Victoria instead.  During the day Friday, we took a walk around our hotel and found this fabulous newer restaurant that we had never heard of!!  We were so excited that we booked a wonderful sunset seat for 2 for dinner later that evening.  It was brisk out and there was a wind warning… I dressed warmly, Jim not so much… it matters to the story…Cold…

 

We arrived at our dinner walking briskly due to the cold air and wind warnings that had picked up that afternoon…..we should have just turned around and ordered room service…..Wind….

 

We were seated at our beautiful sunset table and was handed the menu ….As I struggled to read the  light colored ink of the menu with my aging eyes .I couldn’t quite make it out so I asked Siri to turn the flashlight on my phone so I could read better….Jim wanted to be a gentleman so he told me to put my phone away and he would hold his phone flashlight over the menu… I was too polite to complain and I actually couldn’t see  with all his effort but I did my best…. And together we looked at the options… Eyes

 

In viewing the menu for the wine, it was decided by Jim, that I would choose a good quality, moderate wine and for confidence, I would taste the 2 oz cab sav…… as from his non wine drinkers point of view it smelled better than the other one. Wine, Smell

 

So I ordered the two ounce (couldn’t quite read the price but the numbers appeared as single digits, so I was confident it would be fine)…… I then proceeded to order the bottle (knowing that the next night we would be inviting friends over from the Mainland to join us and we would share the remainder of the wine together with them) Eyes… Wine

 

We really enjoyed our meals and the sunset, and decided we were tired and asked for the bill. While waiting for it to come, I mentally calculated what it would be and I removed a couple of smaller splurges off my upcoming shopping list to pay for it…Wine

 

Then we got the bill…apparently the dark font of the ink from the bill wasn’t hard to read at all even though my eyes were still weak…. It was NUTS… apparently the two digits for the bottle of wine wasn’t accurate- I hadn’t see it… faded color of the ink… Eyes

The Wine… well it turned out that it was 3 digits!! Not two and I nearly fainted…. I saw myself fasting for the next week to make up for the bill I just had to pay!! Money

Walking back to the hotel I discussed with Jim that I had a plan to make up for the cost of the wine, with ideas of fasting and not spending anything on things I didn’t need… it got cold..and the wind…. …. Jim suddenly needed to rush back to the hotel.. the bodily dinner removal process had speeded up for him… and he was cold….and he rushed.. his legs are long and tall and can move much faster than mine… I saw the parliament buildings all lit up come into view and I needed to stop to take a picture

That only made Jim want to hurry me up more… so in my very solid flat boots, carrying a very expensive bottle of wine, I carefully rushed towards him to get back to our room with him … 150 feet from our room…I was barely 2 feet from Jim when the … WIND -a HUGE gust of wind- rushed around me and felt it move me.. it also moved Jim… in the dark with his beautiful foot right in front of mine… it was an accident…. Neither of us saw it coming.. but his 10 inch foot was planted firmly in front of my 6 inch foot and without warning… SLAM!! I WAS DOWN… face down…. My knee hit the ground before impacting my face….. neither of us could have prevented it…. It was just one of those things… and what did I have in my left hand that I had carefully…. Oh so carefully carried?? ….. precious cargo… WINE….. yup.. slammed to the ground along with me…. I heard it smash… I felt the moist wetness on my face.. but it wasn’t the wine I was feeling.. the gash on my nose was pouring out blood… along with my beautiful gorgeous red VERY EXPENSIVE wine…. Jim deeply concerned, grabbed me and walked quickly with me back to the room. I thought I had broken my nose and my first aid training came in quickly… so I started to tell Jim what to do.. he got me ice, and bandages while I proceeded to create a Steristrip to close the bleeding gash on my nose – really should have had 2 stitches… but I am a first aid person and I managed to stop the bleeding, clean the wound, close it and proceed to treat my throbbing knee that had two large scrapes on it.. thank goodness I was wearing  my good quality pants that prevented further damage…….

I am healing…. My nose has improved, my knees have improved……… but my wine has gone forever… I would have rather have given blood… ALL THAT RED is wine!!!……

The End….

The Perfect Northwest Self Care Retreat…. Semiahmoo Resort and Spa

https://www.semiahmoo.com/

I work hard.. too hard sometimes… so do you…

Life, in this day and age with all of our conveniences, seems to add to the workload rather than ease it…. so.. here’s how I relax.. and you can too!

For the past 22+ years, this has been my home away from home. Just a hop, skip and jump from South Surrey BC- this haven has seen me through some amazing, and painful and productive, and healing times.

Contact Micah the reservations manager if you want to stay in “my room”. Feel free to mention me and they will treat you like gold… in fact even without mentioning my name, Micah, Evan, General Manager Nicole and all the staff from housekeeping, to engineering, to the front counter, the spa staff and the wait staff are the best people and care so much for your stay-they will treat you like a king or queen!

Contact: Semiahmoo Resort
9565 Semiahmoo Parkway
Blaine, Washington 98230
info@semiahmoo.com
Phone: 360.318.2000
Fax: 360.318.2087
Reservations: 855.917.3767

THIS IS HOW I DO IT!  This weekend, the first weekend after the start of fall,  I needed a  break… alone…. complete with candles, bath treats, natural skin and hair washing products from SweetLeiLani and Sugar and Spice Natural products (click on the name to go to their sites and order their amazing products).

I brought my diffuser (which I ordered from Amazon after having seen it at the Spa here at Semiahmoo- , with Saje Relaxing Oils  and proceeded to enjoy my weekend… I am still here.. 3 glorious nights of bliss and calm and self reflection… take a look below…

 

Honey wax candles, lavendar epsom salt bath, natural products for scrubbing and skin care…

 

Hydration at its best… smart water…. haven’t tested my IQ after, but I am pretty certain I am smarter now! 

 

Diffuser and essential oils… Saje Relaxing Oils    Bose sound to play my favorite, Lauren Daigle Music 

Bubbles and more bubbles……

 

My walk out to the ocean, wood burning fire place room…..

 

Honey wax candle light and wood burning fire… are you kidding me???

 

The gorgeous fall sunset!  Solitude with nature and it’s creator…. 

 

Plug ins for electronics… and the diffuser…. beside the bed to aid in sleep and relaxation…

 

90 minute spa treatment.. yes!  RMT receipts allow me to get an entire refund from my insurance provider.. did I say “free” 90 min massage??? 

 

Mentally ready for the spa……<3

 

The gorgeous contrast of fall colors leading to the entrance of the resort..where valets and accommodating staff wait to meet your every need…. 

 

Love the greenery surrounding the spacious property…..

 

I am so much at home, I am wearing slippers down the hall where I just heated up my left overs in the complementary microwave…

 

Captured the ray of sun, shining down at the back yard of the property beside the ocean and well kept gardens…

 

and… if you want to play… a sandbox… kids might be welcome too… 🙂 

Fire pit and smores….Yum! 

Rocking chairs to watch the children play, the ocean waves roll and the stunning sunsets….

For rainy days, a games  room filled with lots of choices and windows to view the ocean while the family plays.. this is a year round resort for family, business or solos like mine… 🙂 

Fire places galore!!

This greets you as part of the majestic lobby ….. can you say “west coast”? 

 

This welcoming lobby comes with welcoming staff……

 

Need a glass of wine for the sunset… they have everything you need in the gift shop beside the front desk…..

 

Oh ya… it’s not halloween yet, but the face mask serves in the bath as a refreshing treat…. this is exactly why you do this alone.. no point in scaring off your partner!

 

My feet are happy……

 

Come and join me and many, many others in experiencing the best,  most soothing place in the world….. all year round the family can enjoy the abundance of activities offered by the resort, fires at the beach complete with smores, paddle boards, bikes,  indoor, outdoor swimming pool, basketball and tennis courts…….. wine…. fires everywhere…..my home away from home…..and… did I mention the indoor theatre!!! Yup!!!

What are you waiting for??   COME ON HOME……

Semiahmoo Resort Golf Spa   Photo credit: Semiahmoo.com 

 

 

An Interview with William Paul Young- The Shack-

LIFE CHANGING BOOKS, MOVIES AND CONVERSATIONS

Faith- In 2007, when I had been asked to help with a TV production in Canada, one of the guests, former Captain of the Canucks, Ryan Walter handed me a book and said, “You need to read this”.   I did. It was,  “The Shack”. It made a difference in my life. It confirmed my “knowing” that what I had experienced as a young girl in my new faith was real and authentic inspite the amount of “religion” that I sadly fell into.

THE SHACK- THE BOOK – My intention isn’t to challenge anyones theology, but rather to emphasize that we all share in a desire to connect, to love in every way possible and I really think we all want the same thing.  I highly recommend the book- Warning -it will dig you deeply in a good way.   And if you don’t want to read it or watch the movie, because you hate religion- take comfort- God hates religion too – instead- Just call it LOVE <3

THE SHACK-THE MOVIE

The Shack- The Movie- Starring Academy Award Winner, Octavia Spencer the movie…. will grip you…. -here’s the trailer: –

The movie will touch your heart in a way you can’t explain.  Its a tool for thought provoking, healing – Click here to see a taste……>>>>>>>>>

 

 

 

THE CONVERSATION: 

Join Paul and Candace -here >>>>>>>>    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JiYYI3purM&feature=youtu.be

 

THE MOUNTAIN BCSKINCARE CO

Skincare!! Local and Amazing!

I had the recent, pleasant experience of running into an old friend at a local Christmas Market here in Vancouver, BC Canada!

It was wonderful to see her and learn about how her family was doing!  She had a booth at the Christmas Market in Vancouver selling her own locally made, Skin Care products!!

I bought some for myself and my daughter in law and granddaughter! Of course, I tried them myself!! And I love it!  Here is her website!! https://themountainbcskincareco.com/

Here is a video of me and the all natural, locally harvested organic clay with pumpkin and other healthy products!

Putting it on!    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_h5CXyAk48http://

Thanks Tanja!!!

https://youtu.be/Y1kRgV17CcE

Taking it off!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSMWNrnwAi4

 

 

 

 

 

DIVA’S THAT CARE! Take a listen!

THE MISSING PIECE AND DIVAS THAT CARE- CLICK HERE TO HEAR CANDACE AND CANDACE DISCUSS THE MISSING PIECE – YOU!

I am grateful for those moments when we take a chance to “connect”  with women who are doing incredible things that help to change not only their worlds, but others too!

A few months ago I spontaneously decided to join the amazing  Jo Dibble and the Frock Off Group-  at a  weekend away in Portland, Oregon.  It was there that I met more inspiring women! Not only did these women overcome some unbelievable obstacles during their lifetime, they have taken their lives back and are incredible gifts to all of us!  Each of these women have their own unique story, or are part of creating platforms for others to benefit from. Learning about how they are dancing forward in grace and dignity and building successful networks and business’s to make their mark in the world was a real honour!

CANDACE GISH  One lovely woman I met, is Candace Gish-  click here to learn about “Candace Gish”....Not only was there a connection because of our matching names * “spelled correctly in my opinion”..lol  but she is kind and gracious and successful and creating her own unique pathways!  *(regarding our names, if you don’t believe me, ancient text in the bible identifies the “Queen of Ethiopia” – her name was “Candace”!)  Acts 8:27-There he met an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasury. ”  Queen Candace was a successful leader!  Coincidence?? I think not!!!

For those of us who step out and try and make a difference with our life experiences, obstacles and challenges I PROMISE you.. we have more in common than what drives us apart!  We are ALL insecure, scared and in need of internal adjustments! However, we certainly can embrace our imperfections with humour and compassion, while lovingly asking more from ourselves!!

Personal growth is imperative to OUR own success! Living our lives in the “light” (transparent exposure)  can be scary when we can see everything that we like and don’t like about ourselves and others. However, success isn’t about getting it all together and being perfect- it’s about embracing our true self (the good, the bad and the ugly) and finding comfort in that balance of being human. WHEW!  The pressure is off ! If I have a safe place to land (hint: I AM that safe place to land) when I make mistakes then that is how we learn to love others, while learning to love ourselves!

Candace reached out to me and invited me to participate in her Divas that Care Podcast! So for those that want to hear the two Candace’s chat (well mostly me cause I am a talker… necessary for filling in dead air space in radio lol)… Check it out here! CANDACENEWTONCHAPUT-THE MISSING PIECE

Diva’s that Care is creating a platform  of amazing women, with amazing stories, resources and expertise to share!  Not only do they have a podcast, but so much more! You can purchase their book on Amazon!

Click here!

Thank you Candace for the opportunity to share some of my journey! To Learn more about Candace Gish and what she offers go to: DIVASTHATCARE.COM

“Fear nothing but to betray yourself, for if you lose your Best Friend (you) who will watch over you?” Candace Newton Chaput- Unlocking Secrets for Women Resources Inc. (Click here to learn more about coaching and resources)

#powerfulwomen #divasthatcare #candacegrish #unlockingsecretsforwomen #missingpiece #love #compassion #official #imnotoprah #joy #freedom #onlywomensnetwork #living #life #innerpeace #celebrity #humbleheart #care #diva #passion #growth #change #truth #courage

 

 

SEMIAHMOO RESORT- SELF CARE – COUPLE CARE- FAMILY CARE – The BEST Resort- in the North West- Bar None!

Our “Home away from Home”….

I have traveled many places; stayed in 6 star hotels while filming our TV shows, and have experienced the best of the best hospitality from San Diego to Whistler BC, to New York and South Africa.

However, close to home I have found my treasure!

I promise you there is nothing more relaxing that this incredible, “one of a kind jewel” here in the Pacific Northwest near the Canadian and US borders.

Set on an carefully preserved piece of peninsula that serves as a bird sanctuary and protected space for the natural habitats of North West creatures, this is a sanctuary that must be experienced to be believed.

Viewing the stunning seaviews and wildlife

Views of White Rock, Canada, Mount Baker, Washington, coupled with playful seals and majestic eagles; for over 25 years myself, my children, my spouse, clients, casual and close friends have been introduced by yours truly, to this stunning property.

 

 

 

Greeted by a newly updated true west coast style decor including,  wooden floors and beams, wood burning fireplaces (in the rooms and throughout the property and restaurants), games rooms, ocean view rooms, comfy beds for you and your pets….. second to none,  you will experience this amazing retreat.  

From the relaxing indoor and outdoor pools, hot tub, indoor outdoor  tennis and basketball courts, indoor and outdoor recreational facilities, heavenly spa, including seasonal family activities – like Christmas tree lighting and a private movie theater,  all that plus, golfers for you- a golfers paradise course!

The Ultimate in Self Care at Semiahmoo Resort Ocean View Rooms

Get your SPA on!

This is the perfect setting for groups, families and conferences looking for outstanding warmth from staff that care about your needs.

 

On site is an amazing relaxing spa with full services for whatever your needs might be. As Canadians with health benefits, we are able to claim our full spa treatments through our blue cross provider and recieve full compensaton as the massage therapists are licenced.

Packers Kitchen + Bar -are both surrounded by gorgeous ocean views, excellent wait staff (Mary is our favorite- ask for her and tell her we sent you) and fantastic local food!

Yummy local ingredients cooked to perfection!

 

 

Fit for a King, delicious steak dinner!

 

 

 

From our “HOME away from HOME” to yours!!

From summer time outdoor BBQ’s, summer sunset smores around ocean fires, sand boxes for children, pet friendly rooms,  summer water rentals including kayaks and stand up paddle boards, rental bikes,  a convenience store for forgotten needed items, purchasable wine and treats for toasting around the fire, wonderful family winter fun and Christmas celebrations…. I cannot describe the total experience of what we now fondly call our “home away from home”.

Click here to  Book yourself your Semiahmoo Retreat! You WON’T have a care in the world! Or Call and ask for Micah!! Tell him we sent you!

Candace and Jim Chaput  <3

 

PROBLEMS…. “we’ve all got them”…

“Problems & Troubles”

We all have them and unfortunately, NO ONE is immune …

My all time favorite teacher, Jesus said,  “ guaranteed 100% in this world, you WILL have troubles (my paraphrase) but fear not I have overcome the world” -meaning He lived His life with HUGE problems… and He lived as an example to us in such a way to show us how to get through them, (key word THROUGH)… including being hated and persecuted….

 

 

Really, when you think about it, the only way to not have troubles is to be dead!   

Frankly speaking, I am NOT a big fan of problems…… who is?

 

 

 

 

 

 

However, since I have had MANY and waaaay too many to mention here I have learned a few things about  “getting through” and hopefully have gained some insight valuable enough to pass on to you- if it helps….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So in giving you some help, let’s begin with some basic truths.

Basic truths are things that are true for everyone, and don’t change.. kind of like the sun setting in the West and rising in the East… its always true and doesn’t change no matter what part of the world you are in.

  1. Problems ARE normal! -when we think we shouldn’t have any we set ourselves up for disappointment.
  2. NONE of us are perfect ! NO ONE! Everyone hurts someone sometimes and makes stupid choices that hurt others.  We ALL have and we all do -sometimes intentional, sometimes not, BUT we ALL do hurt others.
  3. We ALL cope differently based on our maturity at the time, and available resources. All of us cope with our pain differently using some form of anger and fear related behaviors: addictions , backing away, closing down, being aggressive, being passive, gossiping, bullying, pushing too hard forward, tears, swearing, yelling, hating, lashing out, revenge, dividing, on and on – you get it.

Here is a general small list of problems/troubles we can expect if we are alive:

  • Any problem forced on us by the choices of others enforcing their free will: * this can be either bad or good decisions that force us to change something big or small in our lives and acts kind of like a domino effect e.g: had an agreement or feelings in a relationship that changed etc
  • Any problem forced on us by circumstances out of our control:
    * landlord decided to sell the home you love and have been renting,
    * horrible weather conditions  *someone drinking and driving hurts you or ones you love or worse- kills *people you love holding grudges and refusing to allow you to be a part of their lives * those who can’t forgive  *medical systems that inflicted fatal or devastating results * healthy people suddenly becoming critically ill
  • Anything we do to ourselves: * Failure to do our due diligence (we all make this mistake)  *Ignoring red flags (we hope something is better than what our gut is telling us (wishful thinking)  * Willfully choosing to do something we know will not end well
  • Or just living in the same world with other broken people

However… (this is the HOPEFUL PART)…..

We are TOTALLY 10,000% in control of OUR reactions to these problems (I know- easier said than done ) AND if we know that we still have control over our own selves, then we have an opportunity to take the “ bad” and make it mean something amazing or even better in our own lives.

There are some big keys in helping oneself during difficult times and the following are a  small but powerful list of some things we can to do help ourselves even when we feel helpless.

  1. First and foremost come to terms with the truth that YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS. Powerlessness is learned helplessness and involves how you think in your thoughts, or belief systems. (For sure there are some really, really serious situations that some people have been in where physically they are powerless however, -I am not talking about this here)
  2. Own YOUR THOUGHTS and what comes OUT Of YOU...… again my favorite teacher Jesus, “it’s not what goes into a man that ruins him (actions of others), it’s what comes out of him  (in reaction to what others have done) that ruins him.”   In taking ownership for who is going to help you and what comes OUT of YOU – it’s so powerful when you see it’s YOU- It starts with YOU. Others can help you in some way but NO ONE can climb in your head or heart and control your thinking or feelings without your permission. Yup it’s hard to not want revenge, and it’s hard to hurt so badly you want to fight back… but it’s in seeing and managing the ONLY thing you can, YOU that you become calm and can start to think about the best solutions. Start by helping yourself choose to see things differently. Let’s just assume that you don’t know everything and that there is more information you need because what you have been thinking hasn’t created any healing or resolve.  That’s YOUR job to find out what you don’t know and then begin a real assessment at 360 degree perspective… (this is called higher intelligence )….Other peoples perspectives whether you like it or not are part of that “WHOLE” Picture.  Stay humble and ask for the other pieces from others… don’t be afraid of the truth, even if it means you might have to admit you might have been wrong.
  3. Have COMPASSION for YOUR HURTING heart and HELP yourself… Failure to hear your own pain and acknowledgement of it leads to self pity and that won’t help!  Self pity is powerlessness.  COMPASSION for self is empowering and comforting. Hear your hurt, cry those tears, acknowledge the pain, disappointment, anger, and if you have to cry through the process then so be it- but LOVE yourself. This is incredibly important.
    “Fear nothing but to betray yourself, for if you lose your best friend, who will watch over you”. Candace 2002 –  As an adult educator I taught my students the following question to ask when feeling needy or hurting:  “who is the first person to help in times of trouble?”- humorously- using the example of  asking : “who knows when you have the feeling you need to pee”?  You get the point. The person who feels it first is the one responsible to help support you in the problem. Hear yourself and honor your pain.  By doing this, you can have a sense of knowing that YOU are able to be there for yourself when others can’t/won’t and when able, to share with them what your needs are, being that you are the only one who really knows.  Imagine you are on a hike and fell and no one was around to help… we find a way to help ourselves until help arrives.
  4. Find a good support system: life coach, church group, close friends, services offered by those who you feel can support and understand your situation (because you have been honest enough to share them) and with balance, ask for any help with any things that you are truly unable to do for yourself– this is important as you don’t want to perpetuate a feeling of powerlessness by having a,  “I am so weak” -mind-set… . you are STRONGER than you know and certainly more resourceful than you know….

Lastly.. I want to end with a little understanding of what problems and support systems look like when it gets BIG……

Consider a tree, a well-established tree.

This could represent your life, marriage, kids, job, health, where you live etc… you have worked hard over the years to establish your life. Building your life is the equivalent of a solid oak tree, big and tall and its roots firmly in the ground.

 

Life has “normal storms”, these can cause the tree to bend, maybe even lose a few leaves or even branches, but the roots remain firm in the ground (smaller troubles that you can get through with counseling, having a change of heart, getting better coping tools, forgiving, etc). These are part of the normal problems in life.

 

 

 

 

Then “IT” happens- THE BIG ONE… massive storms in the form of an emotional earthquake like:

  • Divorce
  • Death of anyone you love
  • Serious health diagnosis of you or a loved one
  • Physical earthquake or dangerous storm
  • Financial devastation
  • Finding out the person who you love, isn’t the person you thought they were….

It is in times like the above you might find yourself ripped from your ground and roots exposed and now find yourself, in shock and in a total different place than where you were planted…..

This is truly hard and devastating and I have walked closely with others who have experienced this and have experienced this myself….

This is where “stakes” in the ground can help…. When you are in shock, and find you have been involuntarily moved by problems or devastating challenges, you will find your roots again… I promise…and when done well with dignity and emotional maturity and health,  it will become complete with love, grace, forgiveness and compassion for those you were once devastated by..

And you will find those who are “stakes” in the ground to help you  and to hold you up while you go through the shock of finding your established roots again. This will take time, but I promise you will can get through this with stakes…

Stakes don’t’ do the work for you, but they hold you up when you feel like you can’t and offer you the following:

Words of encouragement: Cards, notes, flowers

Practical help: cleaning, baking, laundry, driving to or attending appointments with you, babysitting, helping write a resume etc

Crying with you: on the phone or in person…

Offering you needed resources when required: referrals to counselors, doctor’s, financial information, legal support, community resources, life coach referrals etc..

Truly, we are all sharing the same planet. We all have the same basic human needs. We are all broken in some way (not perfect). We all want to feel valued – (even the “bad guys” are doing things to get their needs met- selfishly for sure) but we all have a basic instinct to survive a tough world….

We all have more in common than what tears us apart.

I hope these thoughts bring you hope…  .

If you want help to get through these things, I will be starting my coaching practice soon and would be happy to discuss options for your goals, challenges and associated coaching costs.

My specialty is in crisis control,  self esteem issues, relationship dignity and added specialties of resources and consulting in media, adult education and healthcare resources.

Email me at info@unlockingsecrets.com

And in the meantime, pick up this book found here:

by Dr. Steven Stosny, Soar Above!

 

Love Candace xxoo

“Disability is the inability to believe in possibility” – Candace 2012

 

 

Grab a group of friends, a glass of wine and join in!!

 

Join Jo and I in this incredible, and heart warming authentic conversation of overcoming the worst and learning what it means to “frock off”.

Take a listen here:

 

Jo Dibblee is determined to be the change she seeks by educating, empowering, and elevating women entrepreneurs via access, connection, clarity, collaboration, knowledge, resources and most importantly results.

She is a Social Entrepreneur who sees it as her responsibility to give back both locally and globally. The founder of Frock Off Inc., Jo is described as a tenacious and fearless philanthropist – a catalyst to change. She works with heart-centered women entrepreneurs who have a big message, product or service and are ready to amplify their results. Her signature events “Best Kept Secret to Success in Life, Love and Business” ensure outcome based results and success.

Jo is driven by her passion and purpose which stems from living in hiding for 35 years as a key witness in a murder investigation. She is an international award-winning, best-selling, published author, entrepreneur, speaker and breakthrough expert who hosts transformational live events across Canada that move women forward. She has been featured in Canadian media nationwide and in the Huffington Post.  Jo is determined to serve 13.1 million women globally. To learn more and join her community go to www.frock-off.com.

Her internationally best selling memoir: Click on book to buy! 

Frock Off: Living Undisguised has been recognized and awarded four medals in both true crime and grief and hardship.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE AN EMPOWERED WOMAN?

LAURA DOYLE…. Mentor, educator, teacher, woman supporter, marriage healer and in my case, unintentional matchmaker!!!!

Today, and once again I had the privilege of doing an interview with Laura ” live” via Skype from her home office in CA and mine here in Vancouver BC.

Check out our wonderful interview here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLWdOHQvrjk&feature=youtu.be

Laura is the reason I met my husband!

She had no idea at the time that she helped me find my life partner and love of my life! I hadn’t met her yet! (We met a year later at the California Women’s Conference in CA)

In late Aug 2010, and working as a TV producer in LA for our Canadian productions,  my good friend Erin Martin asked me if I would take a look at a book to see if we could imagine a TV show.

Well, of course I had to read it!

It was titled “ The Surrendered Single”…

I was single.. not so much Surrendered- but for research I decided to read the book!

My name was written all over it so to speak! So as a experiment ( I didn’t want to tell anyone what i was using it for personally)  I practiced the skills in the book to see if they would work!!

They did!!  I met my hubby shortly after and discovered that we had many mutual friends both professionally and personally!!  His best friend from elementary school was my close friend for 20 years and yet our paths had never crossed!! Little did my then new interest know he was the subject of an experiment!  We both benefited!!

Today, after 5 years of marriage- Laura’s book “The Empowered Wife”    

Empowered Wife

and the   Six Intimacy Skills     has continued to add to the quality of my relationship and I can honestly say, that I am truly a “cherished” wife!   I don’t necessarily “need” someone to cherish me as I have a good sense of self and self care (after all the years of learning from Laura’s leading) but to be cherished is a bonus and makes the quality of our life incredible!

 

Make sure you log on to Unlocking Secrets for Women Resources Inc to get your FREE courses with Laura here         

Learn how to make the quality of your life what you have always dreamed!!

Love Candace

LJK (Love, Joy, Kindness) xxoo