This article is my personal first hand experience watching the term “trusting your gut” be abused and misused.
This is a bit of a long read and learned lessons, based on the phrase ‘Don’t let your good be spoken evil of”.
If your decisions have left collateral damage, you might want to consider this thoughtful posting.
If you are operating in integrity, while trusting your gut, there will be full transparency, absolute integrity and “buy in” without manipulating at each step along the way.
Patiently willing to learn and understand the concerns of those who love and care for you while you wait for the witness of important pieces and people before “acting on things”, will assist you in purifying any intentions or possible future mishaps.
Think of it as a caution sign. ⚠️
Imagine if you were walking on a pathway you’ve never walked on before. You want take each step very carefully and ensure that everything is in agreement before you make the next step. This is important in unknown territory and especially when the collateral damage potential is high.
As with any “passion pursuits” the caution provides the much needed “ stop & pause” level of accountability that passion makes us blind to at the time of exciting opportunities.
“In the multitude of counsellors, there is safety”.
Consider: A full witness and agreement all around is prudent and if rejected, often exposes possibly, less than honourable motives.
Your “ gut “ will be just ONE of the “multiple, moral and integral” factors that assist in indicating you’re moving the right way, and the sign will be you have kept valuable relationships in tact.
In seeking the best outcomes you might think you are doing things the “right thing”, but get it the, “wrong way”, however you might not be operating in the highest outcome for everyone involved, including yourself.
I feel we should consider an added value to the statement “ trusting your gut”. We just can’t use this statement in an isolated vacuum. The term “trusting your gut“, has to have a measured approach and protected by a strong commitment to ethical outcomes for all concerned. “Trusting your gut”, cannot stand on its own without accountability and must be a complete and transparent process ending in “win-win”.
To reject the prudence test, exposes immaturity and self-centred needs that will show up over time. If it can’t pass the first test of prudence, it’s not going to pass any future test. Tests are an inevitable pressure on relationships to bring less than desirable qualities to the surface for healing or resolve.
The deeper the impact on outcomes towards others, the more time should be given in making decisions.
I have had to learn some tough lessons of late.
In my experience, seeing behaviours that were disappointing, I had to accept a lack of honour and integrity in some of the relationships in the past.
I’ve learned “loyalty” is an optional outcome in relationships if one interferes with the goals of another. I experienced outcomes that did not line up with integrity in my friendships. That was and is a big lesson to learn. I experienced, in certain cases, that I was a pitstop for individuals to pursue relationships that I had nurtured, so those same individuals could directly benefit. Sadly, some very important relationships have been ruined due to these type of selfish pursuits.
Boundaries are a must in business AND in personal relationships.
I am learning to be diligent in who has access to my friendships and why.
This was/ is hard for me as I naturally love to gather people together and really see others connect and grow.
I am learning, now more than ever, to pay close attention to the possibility of less than honourable motives with those who have access to the connections I have the honour to build. Trusted relationships have a very vulnerable side.
Hollywood is a tough town to find integrity.
When I started working in the entertainment industry in 2008, we were filming a celebrity biography TV show in Beverly Hills. I had come up with the idea to create a more profitable add on to the shows I was already producing in Vancouver, Canada.
I went to LA to meet significant Hollywood movers and shakers to start the development process. I cold called and built the trust necessary to start the conversation and development. 15 years later, I am grateful to have maintained these relationships in spite of significant obstacles by those with less than integrity. Out of that initial work a secondary opportunity had opened and I carefully and strategically facilitated a meeting with high profile people and very well known networks.
I further believed we all had the same shared values of integrity. I was wrong. Initially, I was included in conversations, emails and all seemed above board.
Out of know where was a slight “ tone change” took place and I later discovered that back door deals were made leaving me left out.
Money-(the love of money=greed) can bring that out in people – but I’ve learned that so can loneliness and desperation.
As with all things that are not built on integrity, the project eventually failed, unable to stand the test of integrity.
Hollywood can be a dirty business and the entertainment industry is full of it. What is hard, is this can also be a similar lack of integrity and in close relationships where you believed you had a degree of trust.
But again, human beings regardless of the context, don’t often choose to be the best version of themselves when they could. They often reach for the lowest and easiest common denominator.
This is exactly why good things are hard and have to pass the test of time.
I knew I had to be wiser in business and with my celebrity clients, but this has struck close to home several times now and I need to learn my lesson.
So this advice is for myself and if it benefits others as well, all the better.
Your “gut” might tell you all kinds of things that you believe are correct, but without the presence of a transparent process and ethical filter, for the greater good for everyone involved, you’re not trusting your gut. The danger of acting in selfishness with a personal agenda will cause failures.
I promise you.
Think twice about what it means to “trust your gut”. Allow the test of time and demonstrate your integrity. Don’t run from it, press into it. You will be better for it.
“ mans rejection is Gods protection “ 🙏❤️